Stage Four is divided into 4 continuous sections flowing from one to another: Oblivion - Awareness - Pain - Grief
In the beginning of 2024, my grandmother informed me that she was diagnosed with lung cancer and decided not to pursue treatment. As a regular cigarette smoker for almost half a decade, I decided to end the nasty habit, and gave myself a 3 month window to quit. As of April 1st, 2024, I was officially free. After a month of quitting, I realized how much better I felt, and was shocked with how my body suffered. I was reminded of this moment when I started writing the piece. It made me aware of how careless I was to the consequences that were potentially ahead. It was decided right there that the opening section of this work would be described as oblivion.
The opening section establishes a musical atmosphere evoking the act of smoking a cigarette. A variety of techniques are employed to convey the act of flicking a lighter. The second section is awareness. In this section, I wanted to create elements of shock, hysteria, depression, and foreshadows of pain. I thought about how she reacted when hearing this news. It also made me think about how much of a toll it took on her having to break the news to everybody she cared for..
The third section is pain. This was obviously the most difficult section to write. I loathed thinking about the end of my time with my grandmother when she was still alive. My idea was to make this sound like a plea or bargaining. This plea is used to end the pain and suffering in any way possible. The section ends shortly on a flatline.
The final stage of this piece is grief. I wanted to make this section a sequence of grievances from friends and family. The thematic tuplet runs are memories that my grandma and I have shared throughout the years. I believed it was most fitting to create an environment of relief, calmness, and peace for this ending.
I love you, Nana.
